I first was exposed to BDSM at the age of 11( I am 36 now), through John Norman's Gor novels. At the time I didn't know it was S/m based, with age comes insight LOL. 

As my teens ended, I knew I wanted someone who liked the same 
"kink" as me. I read books, anything BDSM based, and practiced. My poor couch, it was flogged mercilessly as I became more skilled in the use of my whips, crops, and knots. I became confidant in what I wanted in a partner. By adulthood I had acted many partners "dark fantasies" out  but it was still only playing. I wanted more. 

Then by luck or fate my neighbor and I started dating. We became intimate, and surprise! We found out that we both wanted b/d, d/s, s/m in a relationship. We were married (14 years ago) and as the 
saying goes, living happily ever after. 

Now the break down in my house is as follows:
D/s: d/s in my house centers around the life practical, Jenny (my wife/sub/slave) does not work outside the home. She maintains the home as I like it. She cooks what I want when I say.

B/d: this comes into play in both areas.  First, she dresses in what I've picked out for the day, her behavior is how I like it, (ranging from prude to slut/whore). She must at all times wear her collar no exception are allowed. Also she must perform any erotic act at any time with whomever I say.

S/m: this is solely in the erotic play areas, the tortures she must endure and submit completely to.

FFD