by: Raven Shadowborne © 1998 (9-21-98)
I sit recalling the past and the present
the laughter and joy which once filled her life
torn from her throat by another's spite
the smiles wich came so easily to light up her face
now faded and plastic, all joy removed
the sparkle in her eyes which danced all the time
now stark coldness is all that remains
I look at this child of my loins..
once my pride and joy
now my deepest fear
a source of unending pain and rage
the stream from which a fountain of tears flow..
Not her fault, she did nothing wrong..
innocent of the burden she must carry
her actions not the source of this pain
I know this
yet none other to blame
cursing life and stupidity
praying for release from this hell
hoping beyond all hope she will get well
each day passes, the same as the last
no signs of healing
no release from the past
no reprieve from fresh pain unknowingly inflicted
What mistake have I made for which she must suffer?
once just a babe tender and sweet
paid the highest price of all, death of her soul
her small shoulders heavy with their burden
her tiny heart scarred far beyond her years
her mind twisted and dark as fear runs rampant through her heart
I sit and I wonder for what? and Why?
questions that have no answers
yet circle endlessly in my mind
driving me to the brink
No more tears can I cry
no more pain can I hold
no more hope springs from my soul
yet I continue
meeting each day..